Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving! Things I am Grateful for




 
It's Thanksgiving morning, 9AM.  I have no turkey to roast, no pies to bake, no sides to prepare, no stuffing to stuff.
 
My home is quiet as a churchyard on any day but Sunday.  The wind outside is blowing and the temps are in the low 20s.  There is a dusting of snow on the ground.
 
My husband is still asleep; my mother-in-law is too, each wrestling with fatigues born of insomnia, injury or illness.   Even our faithful dog Dewey is slumbering, having awakened my husband at 5AM for a quick trip outdoors.  They are safe and warm and snuggling in their beds on this cold November day.
 
Our sons are halfway round the world in Australia.  I miss them but I reassure myself they are safe and happy and on the adventure of their lives. 
 
My brother, his wife and daughters are on the West Coast.  We haven't seen one another in five years.  The girls have their own families now and I know my brother is surrounded by love.
 
Our table stands empty.  It will not be set today.  But it rings with the memory of holiday dinners, family, friends and parties. 
 
My parents are gone and, I believe, in a better place.  Every holiday fills with their presence, their customs.  My mother would spend two days getting ready for Thanksgiving and our menu rarely varied.  She served Waldorf salad on her mother's cranberry pressed glass plates (which I still have), roast turkey stuffed with a traditional herbed bread stuffing, candied yams in butter & brown sugar, green peas, home made cranberry sauce, oyster dressing (a second stuffing for those with sophisticated palates), gravy, mashed potatoes, crudités of carrots, celery, black olives.  The table was always set with her Irish linen or old lace tablecloth, linen napkins, her fine silverware, Lenox dinner plates, crystal goblets.  There were fresh flowers, candles and music.  Dessert was always pumpkin pie and minced or pecan pie with whipping cream.
 
My father always carved with his steel butcher knife.  He loved to sharpen that thing on his whetstone and made a very big deal of it.  Grace preceded the meal.  Ours was an observant family, at least, outwardly.
 
Afterwards, mother and I did the dishes.  She had no dishwasher until they retired and, if she had, it wouldn't have mattered as she would never have put her good dishes, crystal and silver in it anyway.
 
When I married and lived far from home, my husband and I celebrated Thanksgiving meals I prepared or we went out.  I remember one Thanksgiving in Chicago where we were on vacation.  We stayed at the Ambassador East hotel and had reservations in the Pump Room.  Very chic.  By the time we sat down and ordered, they were out of turkey!  We had to eat fish!  That still makes me smile.
 
Today, my husband, my mother-in-law and I are dressing up and going to a lovely hotel in our mountain town where we will be served a traditional Thanksgiving meal.  We shall sit and dine on fine china with fancy cutlery, crystal on a white tablecloth and enjoy spectacular views of the mountain range.  It will be nice and easy. 
 
Aside from the people I love who are gone or away, I shall miss the leftovers.


Happy Thanksgiving!


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Sunday, June 16, 2013

Reprise: My Dad

I posted this tribute one year ago today. I can't think of anything more to add so I'll reprise.




I love this photograph of my father because it doesn't resemble the man I knew in any way shape or form.

The man I knew smoked only an occasional cigar and drank an occasional sherry or glass of wine, barbecued weekends, loved Chinese food and take out, and dressed like Don Draper every work day of his life because he was an ad man.  

This photo was probably taken when he was in the USAF during WWII.  The hair cut, the shirt, the hard-ass look.  I thought this was Frankenstein the first time I found it in the drawer of his high boy dresser.  I was probably 7 or 8 and it scared me to death.  He had to reassure me it was just a photo taken when he was young and he was definitely not a monster!

Dad, circa mid-1940s





I remember my father is as a loving but stern, old-fashioned man with a very rigid set of principles.  He was born in 1910, another era light years from the Sixties when I was coming of age.  We did not see eye to eye.  Yet, he instilled his faith in God, his work ethics, his frugality and his loyalty in my brother and me.  We are the better for those things.


Me, Dad, Mother at Butchart Gardens British Columbia   Summer 1969  Mother & I wear nosegays of violets from Dad



Dad loved an occasional cigar, a pancake breakfast with bacon on the side, a good walk, his dog(s), nature, God and country. He was never so proud as when his two grandsons were born.  I think they were the light of his old age.
 
D
Dad & Grandsons 2005 (age 95)





He was nutrition and supplement minded before it was fashionable.  He read the Rodale books and followed a predominantly naturopathic road when I was young.  I remember him ingesting Tiger's Milk, fish oil, B supplements, high fibre food, whole grains, raw honey.  He walked that walk.  He lived into his late 90s and was still mobile.

Dad presenting retirement document to a retiring Colonel Vandenburg AFB, 2004




For those of you old enough to remember, "My Dad" sung by Paul Petersen on The Donna Reed Show 



 



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Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving!



Embrace your family




Enjoy your surroundings




Count your blessings





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Sunday, June 17, 2012

I Remember Papa


I love this photograph of my father because it doesn't resemble the man I knew in any way shape or form.

The man I knew smoked only an occasional cigar and drank an occasional sherry or glass of wine, barbecued weekends, loved Chinese food and take out, and dressed like Don Draper every work day of his life because he was an ad man.  

This photo was probably taken when he was in the USAF during WWII.  The hair cut, the shirt, the hard-ass look.  I thought this was Frankenstein the first time I found it in the drawer of his high boy dresser.  I was probably 7 or 8 and it scared me to death.  He had to reassure me it was just a photo taken when he was young and he was definitely not a monster!

Dad, circa mid-1940s





I remember my father is as a loving but stern, old-fashioned man with a very rigid set of principles.  He was born in 1910, another era light years from the Sixties when I was coming of age.  We did not see eye to eye.  Yet, he instilled his faith in God, his work ethics, his frugality and his loyalty in my brother and me.  We are the better for those things.


Me, Dad, Mother at Butchart Gardens British Columbia   Summer 1969  Mother & I wear nosegays of violets from Dad



Dad loved an occasional cigar, a pancake breakfast with bacon on the side, a good walk, his dog(s), nature, God and country. He was never so proud as when his two grandsons were born.  I think they were the light of his old age.
 
D
Dad & Grandsons 2005 (age 95)





He was nutrition and supplement minded before it was fashionable.  He read the Rodale books and followed a predominantly naturopathic road when I was young.  I remember him ingesting Tiger's Milk, fish oil, B supplements, high fibre food, whole grains, raw honey.  He walked that walk.  He lived into his late 90s and was still mobile.

Dad presenting retirement document to a retiring Colonel Vandenburg AFB, 2004




For those of you old enough to remember, "My Dad" sung by Paul Petersen on The Donna Reed Show 



For those of you about to be new fathers...  




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Sunday, May 13, 2012

I Love You Mom



I miss my mother every day.

She's been gone 15 years.  

Every time I hear the song, "Stardust", my eyes well with tears.  It was her favorite.  She was from Indiana.  Hoagy Carmichael, composer of "Stardust" and many other great standards was also from Indiana.  

My mother loved with an open hand.  She didn't judge me.  She supported me.  I did alot of dumb stuff as a teenager and twenty-something and she forgave me without condemning me in the first place.  I am sure she was dismayed by a number of my activities but she didn't show it.  She understood.

or my favorite rendition below.




Happy Mother's Day Mom.  

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Wednesday, April 18, 2012

College Educated & Happy to Have a Job

My almost 25 year old son came home last night with good news: he's landed a summer job as a barista at a popular coffee cafe in our resort mountain town. This is after months of looking somewhat fruitlessly at similar, less appealing positions. This is what many college educated kids are doing in this recession; not to mention living at home.

My son is an outdoor person.  He graduated with a degree in Environmental Studies.  He spent six years living in Utah, camping, hiking, river rafting/kayaking, snowboarding, skateboarding and taking on every new outdoor adventure come his way.  He's trying to figure out what to do for the rest of his life.

He and his brother are planning a trip to Australia in late Fall.  They're hoping to have enough money to travel, find jobs and stay a while.  I hope they get there and have a huge adventure.  I want them to experience the world, life, new situations, challenges.  My younger son's GF is just back from 2 months in India, BY HERSELF.  It has been life-changing.

While the current economic situation is not something I want to see prolonged, I'm anxious to see the way my sons react and adjust.  It's their first test of really being on their own and having to struggle.  Yes, they've been out of the house before and making their own way.  But it's different now.  They need to be on their own permanently.  They know it.  We know it.


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Monday, January 2, 2012

It Was A Very Good Year

(excerpts from the lengthy email with photos sent to friends on New Years' Day)


Friends, Family & Traveling Companions:

This has been one hell of a year!  Our sons moved home, Scott's fine art photography is beginning to take off, we completed the majority of renovations on the old farm house... there was... travel.  It's been a fulfilliing, rewarding twelve months. 

So, today is Jan 1.  Do you remember all the New Years Eves spent together?  ...Do any of you get out there and shake it up any more?  Scott and I celebrated New Years Eve on 12/30 in Boston.  We drove down, checked into a nice hotel near Copley Square,  went walking, taking photographs, visited the Boston Public Library (gorgeous), drank Guiness in an Irish pub, dinner in the North End at a terrific Italian restaurant and spent the next day at the JFK Library.  

... Bryan returned to Salt Lake for his final semester @ Univ Utah.  He's lived there 6 years... SLC has been a perfect environment for his snowboarding, hiking, kayaking, rock climbing, trips to Moab and other adventurous stuff.  He received his degree in Environmental Studies spending his last semester interning for Tim DeChristopher, probably the biggest activist in the David/Goliath fight of environmentalists vs Big Oil & the govt.  He decided to come home and try his luck here [because I work with so many environmental and govt agencies marketing tourism]. 

My job at the tv station is wonderful.  I love selling this niche product... If this is my last job in broadcasting, I lucked out big time.  

In April, [we] returned to Anna Maria Island, FL,  one of our favorite places... It was a warm, sunny week of beaching, swimming, eating and family time.
This summer, [we] took a small renovated "camp" cottage on Lake Sunapee.  We'd never been to this lake and heard lovely things about it...The lakeside homes and old boating garages and wonderful antique boats reminded us of Lake Arrowhead.  Those were the days...
 
Scott ... was commissioned by a local hotel to print 11 images for display in a newly renovated wing... We took a trip to NYC in Sept to meet with an [art] consultant. .. She was enthusiastic and constructive.  While they met, I took the opportunity to visit the Empire State Bldg for the very first time.  It was SO WORTH IT...

Fletcher and Ashley moved back from Naples, Fl...  This winter, Fletcher and Bryan are working in the terrain park of a local ski mountain.  Tough life, 11 hours of snowboarding every day and getting paid for it.

[Scott's mother] is doing fairly well...She'll be 85 this week...  I think it's been a real adjustment for all and it still isn't perfect but how easily does living with one's parents come after all these years?   Bryan and Fletch have only been here a couple of months and they care chafing under our still watchful parental eyes.

Some but not all of you know I participated in a mutual 60th birthday bash in New Orleans in October with [5 of my oldest friends.] ... 3 nights together of eating, drinking and sightseeing, not necessarily in that order...  

Wishing you the best year ahead with health and happiness and love because, when you get right down to it,  that's all there is!





        I call this photo "Everybody loves Scott...except Bryan"  

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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Sunday, July 3, 2011

This holiday weekend...

. . . I hope you get to do fun things with family and friends; things like....

                                                                       Go for a hike


                                                          Get together with friends


                                                            Go up in a hot air balloon


                                                                  Get out on a lake


                                                                       Visit the shore


                                                                  See something historic

                                                                  Participate in a sport

                                                                Celebrate with family


Have a safe, happy Fourth of July!

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Monday, May 9, 2011

Vacation Aaaahs




One month ago, we left on vacation, flying to Florida for a nine day stay, visiting old friends, our favorite island and our younger son.  After a cold winter of record snow in many parts of our great Northeast, we were oh so happy to escape to the sun, sand and aquamarine sea of Anna Maria Island.

The two photos below, side by side, are of the Anna Maria Pier at different times of the day.  The first is early dawn, a fisherman in silhouette, heading to the end of the pier to throw a line.  The right photo is dusk when lights go on and day is done.  It's the loveliest little pier.

 
 












The next two photos were taken at a gorgeous dinner arranged for us by the kids at the Turtle Club on Vanderbilt Beach, Naples.  My son and his GF spent time with us on AMI before returning to their apt on Vanderbilt Island.  She works at the Turtle Club which is lovely, right on the beach, awesome food and very chic.  We dressed up beach style and had a blast, evidenced by the happy faces. 



Sunset from our ringside table looks like this...
  


Just a snap but I love the look on my son's face here.


Now for a typical day at the beach.  The water is Caribbean blue; clear, clean, gorgeous.   

 

Beach equipment.  Where's the umbrella?

My favorite beach

 
Shark Watch


Yes, a baby hammerhead, swimming along the shore line.  Yikes!


    

 
  
 


A friend of mine is on his way down to AMI today.  He has ten days of this.  It is so awesome.  I cannnot ask for more.  


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Monday, January 10, 2011

Anniversary

I have been married 36 years today if I don't count the divorce, the 3 year hiatus and 1 year of living together before we re-married.  Now, that is quite a story.


Lake Okeechobee Sunset  by Cole Scott
The lake is surrounded by a man made dike, Hoover Dike,  begun in 1929 completed 1971. 
It protects the surrounding communities from floods during hurricane season.   The
dike takes up the lower part of the shoot which explains the perfectly straight horizon.  


My husband is in Florida right now, exploring the Everglades and the Panhandle.  He left New Year's Day  on a road trip with our oldest son.  They drove to Naples where our second son lives.  They spent a week in the warm sun, helping #2 move into a new apt not fifty feet from the beach.  He had quality time with both boys who, when it came time to say goodbye, were very emotional.  #1 flew back to Salt Lake City for his last semester at the U and my husband left Naples the following day. 

Thirty six years of marriage is certainly no small feat.  It has taken every bit of will power we have to make it work.  Ours is not the idyllic chirping of soul mates.  It is the rocky road of ups, downs, angry moments, leave takings and time spent apart held together ultimately by two children we cherish more than life.  We made the decision long ago to make it work and we have. 

Romantic?  Sometimes very.  Our happiest moments together are on vacation, just the two of us, on the road, exploring.  Our greatest accomplishments are those two boys with whom we are "well pleased." 

Why am I not with my husband right now?  He needed to get away and I needed him to be away.  He needed to bond with his sons, spend memorable time together before the inevitable changes in all our lives become permanent. 

At leave taking, our younger son told his father "I don't think I'll be moving home again, Dad." 

That's a powerful statement and, no matter you know it's coming, it shakes you.  It is one of those moments.

As my husband wends his way towards Apalachicola, I  have to admit, it's a pretty good marriage.  When you get to the point where you can give your partner the freedom to explore, enjoy and discover things with or without you,  no strings attached, that's love with an open hand.   

Happy Anniversary honey!


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Sunday, December 12, 2010

One Year Later

Last year, Christmas time.  We had just moved into my MIL's home.  Our sons were home and everyone was adjusting to this new life we'd appropriated.  My husband and I were so happy to have the boys here and we miss them now.  First born is second from the right.  He'll be home Thursday.  Second born is first on the right and he will not be home as he's begun a new job in Florida.  

The room below, once a very large living room, has been transformed into a kitchen/family room with new 12" pine board floors.  It's been a labor of love and we are busy dividing the old farm house into two living spaces.  With alot of compromise on both sides, we're making this work. 






The boys on a hike with the dogs.  This is our older dog, Zoe.  She's still full of piss and vinegar...mostly piss.

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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Anniversary



Today would have been my parent's 60th wedding anniversary.  My mother and father would be 95 and 100, respectively.  Mother always said she did not want to live to be "too old" though I'm not sure she meant "old" so much as "infirm".  She did live to be 81 but was bedridden the last 18 months of her life, felled by strokes.  That was the kind of infirmity she dreaded.  Mercifully, she died in her sleep.  She loved me unconditionally and it was wonderful.

Dad lived to be 97.  He's been gone three years now.  It's hard to believe as he was such a presence in my life, mostly an irritating presence, but a presence nonetheless.  I loved my father but he worried too much and he gave way too much advice.  It's hard taking advice when you're in your fifties...forties...etc.  I find myself doing the same damn thing.  The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

My brother called to remind me today but I already knew.  I'd been thinking about this anniversary for weeks.  We talked a bit about them; how much we miss them.  We both agreed it's amazing to be married that long.  Our parents married late and both had previous spouses but no children.  I suppose my husband and I can hit that number because we married 35 years ago and we're both only 50.  Why yes, it was a shotgun wedding...

There is a common wisdom that says one can never again be a child once their parents have died.   I have begun to think that is true.  I know it in the deepest part of my Id.  I know I can never again feel the warm comfort of my parent's arms about me, their kisses on my forehead, my father's hand holding mine.  I can talk to them but I cannot be with them.  And I really really miss that. 

The older I become, the more I appreciate their wisdom, their sacrifices, the tragedies endured and the many gifts they gave me, not least of which are my values. As our parents leave us, the little irritations fade and the good things move to the forefront.  As Martha would say, "It's a good thing."


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