My mutually shared 60th birthday began as a secret; a secret invitation sent out by my husband to a large group of our friends.
He wanted to surprise me for my birthday by taking a villa in Tuscany to share with our friends. It's something we've always talked about and he decided somebody needed to take the bull by the horns and investigate the possibilities.
He researched the best months to go, the available properties, whether to get a staff or go "bare boat". He put together the plan, sent it out and asked them to come, to celebrate in Italy. It wasn't just about my birthday, there were at least 8 of us turning 60. It was also about shared friendship.
He planned it with 9 months lead time thinking that would be enough. It wasn't.
Out of 20+ invitations, only one person responded she would go. One said she'd try, the rest were either a flat no or they'd get back to him.. But they never did. He was crushed. He never told me. I didn't know anything about it.
I accidentally found out in the midst of the New Orleans plans. His trip idea sparked a smaller, shorter, more manageable excursion but it was also more cliquey and not all-inclusive. One of the women organizing this trip let it slip to me that it was "all Scott's doing." When I asked what she meant, the cat was out of the bag.
My husband is a thoughtful man. He loves a surprise. For his 40th, I surprised him by kidnapping him to Mexico, booking a beautiful hotel in Ensenada where all our friends, at least 14 of them, were waiting. He's also had a few surprise parties over the years but I've shunned them for myself. A few years ago, however, I expressed the desire to really celebrate sixty. He obviously did not forget.
He was hurt by the lack of response from our friends. He thought there would be enough of a consensus, say four or five couples, to put it together. Once I knew and was able to discuss with him, I empathized but told him he shouldn't have too many expectations of friends. It's often a shifting street, a slippery slope.
It all worked out. But wouldn't it have been magical to take that villa in the golden hills of Toscana? We'll get there together.
You know what they say, "When God closes a door, he opens a window"
He researched the best months to go, the available properties, whether to get a staff or go "bare boat". He put together the plan, sent it out and asked them to come, to celebrate in Italy. It wasn't just about my birthday, there were at least 8 of us turning 60. It was also about shared friendship.
Out of 20+ invitations, only one person responded she would go. One said she'd try, the rest were either a flat no or they'd get back to him.. But they never did. He was crushed. He never told me. I didn't know anything about it.
I accidentally found out in the midst of the New Orleans plans. His trip idea sparked a smaller, shorter, more manageable excursion but it was also more cliquey and not all-inclusive. One of the women organizing this trip let it slip to me that it was "all Scott's doing." When I asked what she meant, the cat was out of the bag.
He was hurt by the lack of response from our friends. He thought there would be enough of a consensus, say four or five couples, to put it together. Once I knew and was able to discuss with him, I empathized but told him he shouldn't have too many expectations of friends. It's often a shifting street, a slippery slope.
It all worked out. But wouldn't it have been magical to take that villa in the golden hills of Toscana? We'll get there together.
You know what they say, "When God closes a door, he opens a window"
