Good bye for Now

Son #1 jumping the wake & doing a "grab"

Our eldest son left last night to go out West to the college town where he lives.  My husband and I drove him to the airport.  We had packed early yesterday morning, the end of our vacation on the lake.  The end of vacation and our son's leaving made it a doubly difficult day.  To spend a carefree time with the people you most love in the world, well, there's nothing to replace it. 

As a family, we discussed all that and how lucky we are to have our health, to have a ski boat, to be able to rent a lake cottage, to bring our family together.  We had wonderful weather, only one day of rain, and we took that day to go to the movies together and see "Inception" on the big screen.  I don't recommend it.  "Matrix" is better.  But I digress.

While there is much bickering amongst the four of us, there is much camaraderie as well.  I had a talk with son #1 and he reminded me he's been out of the house five years now.  He was 18 when he left for college and he hasn't moved back.  I'm proud of him.  I'm also proud he tries very hard not to rely on us for money when he's low. He's making his way as a man now and he reminded me to treat him as such.  Hard task when Mamma has her boys together and falls back into the old patterns.  I can't deny it. 

  Son #2  doing a 360  on a wakeboard

#2 son leaves in a month for a beach city in Florida.  We'll miss him very much.  However a peaceful time is coming for us, sans children.  We are ready for the separation.  He is too and I think he'll be most happy by the sea. 

Something my son wrote...

While cleaning the files out of my old computer, I found this poem, written by Son #2 when he was about 16 years old. I find it incredibly poignant.

No Fear

Everything's so easy, when you're a kid,
No pressures to worry about, you can just live.
Everyone's so nice, you never see mean,
You can feel safe, living as a human being.
You go to play in Little League games, while people cheer,
You can be out, and live a life of No Fear.
Every now and then, a problem comes across,
It might be that you fell, and caused your team a loss.
But its over and its done, within a couple days,
It doesn't leave you scared and confused, in an endless maze.
You can go over there, you can be over here,
You can live the life of No Fear.

Then you get older and the pressures come down,
You don't feel like the king anymore, wearing your golden crown.
Your friends and your family, say two things far apart,
Stuck in this position, it's hard to follow your heart.
Should I do drugs?
Should I drink beer?
What happened to my life?
My life of No Fear?
You see when you're a kid, everything comes to you so easy,
No decisions to make,
This might sound a bit cheesy.
But don't forget that you, had the life to live,
Everything that you did came out pretty positive.
You didn't have to do drugs, or drink beer and be a fool,
Back in the days with your friends, you could always be cool.
When you're a kid, you don't have to worry about bad things being near,
You go on living your life, your life with No Fear.

"Guyland" or Why My Sons don't Wanna Grow Up

I am reminded of "I Won't Grow Up" song from Peter Pan, the musical. I sang this song on stage at the age of four or five (not sure) during a recital. I still know the words:

I won't grow up
I don't wanna go to school
Just to learn to be a parrot
and recite a silly rule

If growing up means it would be
Beneath my dignity to climb a tree
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow uuuupp!
Not me. Not I. Not me.

I won't grow up
I don't wanna wear a tie
or a serious expression
in the middle of July.

And if it means I must prepare
to shoulder burdens with a worried air
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow uuupp
Not me. Not I. Not me. So there!


Never gonna be a man
I won't.
Like to see somebody try
and make me
Anyone who wants to try
and make me turn into a man...
catch me if you can!

I won't grow up
Not a penny will I pinch
I will never grow a mustache
Or a fraction of an inch!

Cuz growing up is awfuler
than all the awful things that ever were
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow uupp!
No sir!

What strikes me about this video and the accompanying article which you can read if you double click my post title, is how true this study and appraisal of young men seems to be, at least to me.

Our boys are now 20 & 21. They are both in college; one after a false start last Fall. The elder should have completed his Junior year last Spring but didn't want to take a full load. He's still 10 credits short. He doesn't ask for money though. He's working to support himself waiting tables.They are both partyers and neither knows what they want to be when they graduate although the younger one is pretty sure he wants to own his own business and "be rich." I know the feeling.

Many but certainly not all of our friends have sons with varying degrees of similarities in their confusion and their belief they can just get by. None of us understands this and none of us knows how to help. Maybe that is the problem. What we are trying to do and have to learn to do is let go. We have to let go and let them find out for themselves what the world is about.

I listened with rapt attention to Barack Obama's acceptance speech Thursday night. One of his remarks had to do with "accepting responsibility" for who we are and where we are headed. I immediately thought of my sons and wondered when this will happen.

Then I thought of the song, my recital and most of all, Mary Martin.

Playing Hookey

Played hookey from work Friday. Took out our water ski boat with our two sons. This was the first decent (sunny) day after five days of a non-stop deluge and we were pumped! The boys grew up water skiing & wake boarding. We picked our favorite lake, slid the boat in and jumped aboard. After we got out there, however, everyone felt lazy and relaxed and just wanted to lie in the sun, swim and not do much. Our eldest son is home on vacation for two weeks which made it a special day, a family day. We enjoyed every minute.

You know what they say, "A bad day on the water is better than a good day at work."