Saturday, July 5, 2008

Was once & Will be again

I wear a locket, purchased in Vancouver the
summer I graduated high school, with photos

of my then boyfriend, now husband and I at
Disneyland on Grad Night.

I'm headed home to my high school reunion this month. It is my fortieth.

"Fortieth?" you ask.


Where did it go? I have no idea. Granted, my real fortieth reunion is next year. I graduated high school in 1969. Somehow, that doesn't make this event any less daunting. I have been preparing for this for six months. I've lost 10 lbs, I'm having glycolic face peels, I've darkened my hair to a chestnut brown and grown it to shoulder length. Many women in my age group (baby boomers) are no longer hung up on the idea that "blonde highlights and chin length" make you look younger.

Is it helping? As it is all about my looks, I'd say "Not much".

My husband and I had a nice talk yesterday and he remarked he wanted me to "find the person I used to be before I had children." He went on to say that having children changes a woman forever. She transforms to Mother first, everything else second. That has certainly been true for me. That conversation began by him asking,

"Do you remember who you were before you had children?"

I really had to think about it. I wasn't sure what he meant. I kept thinking he meant career etc. He finally explained he meant who I once was and want to be again. I'm still thinking about that. I don't know.

I can only say it bears serious thought and it's a good exercise. I'll get back to you.

1 comment:

Front Studio said...

What a lovely question to ask! I've often wondered which is the more "real" you, the mother or the before-mother. I suspect it's a little of both since you can never undo motherhood.