Friday, June 12, 2009

Elder Care Part 3

The saga continues with my father in law's condition and care.

Yesterday, he was moved into a nursing home. It has been two weeks since the massive stroke that has left the right side of his body paralyzed and 25% of his brain affected.

My husband had to go to County Court to obtain a guardianship over his dad. Without a Power of Attorney, Medical POA, directive or living will, someone has to take legal control. My husband feels very strange to suddenly be responsible for all decisions affecting his father. I empathize completely. How sad the day you become responsible for your parent.

We are lucky though. When this first happened, there were no beds in the closest nursing home. We were told the nearest one open was an hour away. But one opened up and it's a pretty nice place. They keep the grounds and interior clean, attractive. The rooms are spacious. You do have to watch out for the old ladies in wheel chairs who drive with their feet. They can knock you over before you know it. It may be a form of bump cars or visitor bingo for all I know. Actually, I had a good feeling about it. I saw another gent I knew. He is a professional musician, a pianist, quite good. He was playing for the crowd. He's there too for rehab. His wife is hopeful.


Sixpence and A Blue Moon said...

Yes, it is very hard. I am so sorry for what you're dealing with. I hope all works out well.

This is on another subject altogether, but did you hear Rush Limbaugh's latest comment on who is responsible for the rising health care cost in America? The man is a nut case!

Have a wonderful weekend! xo

Brian Miller said...

i can see them with their scorecards lurking, waiting for B13 to walk through the door...

sure this is awkward for hubby, i don't look forward to this.

Minka said...

It makes you think about the future, doesn't it? I know it makes ME think.. Be strong.

Unknown said...

Visitor bingo! I'm still smiling.

I'm really glad you found a nice place for your FIL. I'm sure you or other family members will visit often, and that is the key to good care in a nursing home. If they know you're watching, they will be more attentive to his needs.

Tanna said...

I'm so glad there was an opening closer for you. Glad you have a good feeling about the place... and that you successfully survived visitor bingo bumper cars! lol.

All of this does make me think about when I, too, will be in the place of "the parents." Chilling.

Marguerite said...

Cal. Girl, So glad that your father-in-law will be so close to you and your family. Visiting daily will not only ensure better care, but will aid in his recovery.
I will keep all of you in my prayers.

Baino said...

You're very fortunate to have found a nice nursing home. I remember my parents looking for a place for my aunt and most were pretty awful. It's a weird thing moving from child to parent isn't it? I guess we all have to do it at some stage. Hope he's comfortable and begins to recover, so many do. Thinking of you.

DawnTreader said...

Sorry to hear about your father-in-law's illness. Good news about the nursing home though. It certainly is not easy to have to take on responsibility for one's parents (or in-laws). I have my dad's power of attorney at the bank but not full legal guardianship. This still makes it difficult sometimes to know whether to ask him about certain details or just go ahead. Especially since his ability to understand and remember varies.

California Girl said...

Sixpence: thank you for your kind thoughts.

Brian: no way to prepare for it except to do your research when they are older and at least have your paperwork for them to sign (IF they'll sign). I scouted out ten level care facilities in a week for my dad when I wanted him to move out of his place. I found two decent ones. He never did move. I was prepared. He wasn't!

Minka: ditto my remarks above.

Susan: yes, the in town facility is allowing them to visit daily.

Tanna: thanks. it is hard to think about. I wonder what the hell my sons will do with me. eeek.

Marguerite: Thank you for your prayers.

Baino: It IS odd becoming a parent to your own. Did it with my father although he was so docile towards the end it was easy.

DT: How are you faring? Your photos of the flowers, etc were very nice. I feel for you.