Happy Birthday My Son

My son, his girlfriend 2011 Anna Maria Island

My sons are on an extended trip Down Under.  They plan to be away at least one, possibly two years.  This is the birthday email I sent to my youngest who turned 25 last wk.

Son, 

Every birthday, every year, takes me back to the first few years of your life.  I loved my pregnancies and took great joy knowing I was going to have children.  Believe me, once upon a time,  I could have been voted "Least likely to have children".  But you and your older brother are the blessings Dad and I were given.  

The day of your birth I was frightened, as was your father, not because there was anything wrong with you; you were quite perfect.  We just thought ourselves so lucky after the birth of your brother, I think we wondered if lightening could possibly strike twice.

It did.  His name is Fletcher.  He is you.

Twenty five is a benchmark of sorts, but it may not be the turning point of your life.  You'll probably not remember, in later years, why you expected it should be so.  I know I cannot remember my 25th birthday at all.  

You need not have your life mapped.  Twenty five is a compass.  It's pointing you in directions.  You have to choose the road on which to travel and go go go.  I think you and your brother are doing this now on your extraordinary trip to Australia and beyond.  A year or two away from home is a life changing experience.  If it seems haphazard at times, remember, life can be complicated and messy and difficult.  It can also be sweet and simple and it is God's greatest gift.

Use your talent, your brains, your personality and make things happen.  Trust iin yourself, even when you make mistakes.  A mistake is simply taking a path that didn't work out.  Take another!!!  You don't stop hiking when you come to a dead end.

I'm proud of you and the man you've become.  You're generous, kind, loving, smart, artistic and you think out of the box; not an easy thing to do.  For once in my life, I'll credit your father with that trait.

I wish you love and happiness.

Mom

Parenting 101

December 6th, our sons embarked on a glorious trip Down Under with one way tickets and one year work visas.   They've been gone one month and five days and, so far, they're having the time of their lives.

This trip is the culmination of a lifetime of  them talking, hoping and finally working to save the money and go.  Growing up, we encouraged them to explore the world, get to know and understand other people and cultures, learn to cope in new situations, discover who they are and what they want to become.  In other words, we raised them to believe happiness is a goal more important than money, prestige, the accumulation of "things" and climbing the never-ending ladder. 

Success is being happy with who you are not what you have.  

Songs to a Child Born to the Breed

I've been listening to a series of old tapes, favorite music recorded on audio cassettes long ago; long before I had children.   I must have been destined to be a mother; the songs that grabbed me emotionally back in the day are the songs written by the composers to their children.

 Judy Collins' "Born to the Breed" has always moved me.  It is about her then 16 year old son as he leaves home to perform in a rock n roll band, filled with the mixed parental feelings of the joy of his birth and youth to the pain of letting go.

Along the same lines is the better known and iconic "Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin.  Lost time and time lost with his son are the themes. I never hear this without a pang. It may have even shaped my parenting subconsciously.

Both  songs are about parental love and loss, albeit for different reasons. Both children, as it turns out, are born to the breed.  Both outcomes are surprising, different, yet similar.

In looking for the musical videos to include in this post, I came across this Judy Collins interview with Rosie O'Donnell.  It was a shock.

   

The poignancy of the song is so much greater now.  I did not know this information until yesterday.

As for Mr. Chapin, I remember his early death, though not the exact circumstances which I, again, learned during my research for the post.

Death is still the one absolute.  

I hope you take the time to watch and listen to these great artists whose lives shaped their music and whose music shaped our lives.

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