"Christmas was on its way. Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved. "
"First-nighters, packed earmuff-to-earmuff, jostled in wonderment before a golden, tinkling display of mechanized, electronic joy! "
"Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window."
"I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle! "
"Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word! "...
..."Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master. But, I chickened out and said the first name that came to mind."