Ahhh, Togetherness

Those of you who've been reading my blogs since last year know we recently moved out of the home in which we raised our sons.  A quick escrow and winter weather made it expedient to move in with the mother-in-law, heretofore known as MIL.  She has a large 100+ yr old farm house, she's 83 years old, her husband died last summer, so we decided to give it a try.  For background material, go here and here.

Long story short, it is a never ending challenge.  We moved in December and made it through the holidays but by the end of the first three months, I was ready to move out.  We share her kitchen (a disaster for any two women unless they REALLY like one another) and we do invade her space by virtue of necessary ingress and egress.  We're upstairs, she's down but, you can't avoid one another.  Top it off, our younger, 22 year old, son is living there, saving his money so he can move to Tampa.  He's in and out only to eat and sleep and I think his habits irritate her which I can understand.  I thnk our habits irritate her and I KNOW her habits irritate me.

She's a non-stop talker.  She talks through tv programs, netflix movies, while I try to follow recipes, she talks over you or interrupts.  She's now giving my son advice on his love life.  I don't think she's enamored of the girl he's dating while I, the mother, like the girl just fine.  I spend most of my time at work so I am not home often but, when I am, I like my space; my peace and quiet.  MIL is in the house 24/7.  She has no hobbies, no exercise regimen, no close friends other than the next door neighbors. 

My husband and I are weighing the various solutions to our problem.  On the one hand, she needs us.  On the other hand, neither of us want to do this kind of maintenance work any longer.  We cannot deny our overhead is lower than renting our own place; on the other hand...what price convenience? 

It's all an experiment in the new economy.  More folks are living with their parents and v.v.  This was common one hundred years ago.  Now, thanks to lack of health insurance, retirement savings and all, it's a necessity again. 

I would very much like to find the key to making this a smooth situation.  But perhaps that is setting the bar too high.